How Could I Stay Away?

Hello, adoring fans.  It's Parker, and I'm back by (extremely) popular demand.  I've had a talking to with Mom about putting a little less sass in her posts, and she kindly agreed to let me do the talking for today.  As an expression of my gratitude, I promised to focus on the blockheads pit bulls of the house.  But first, a photo of me!

 

When we go hiking, I always make absolutely sure to stick my face in a burr bush.  I think it makes me look dashing- adventurous even!  Mom doesn't like it, because she has to comb them out again, but it's a necessary sacrifice to maintain my image.

Anyway, on to Skye.  I'm hesitant to say this, but we've been getting along just fine.  She went away for a whole day and came back without a tooth; weird, right?  The vet person also took a chunk out of her ear, which sounds just plain mean to me, and sent it away to "the lab."  I highly doubt that any Labrador Retriever is qualified to examine an ear chunk, but that's just me.

Oops- looks like I'm in this picture too!

Now, I'll have to go by a script on this one, since none of these words mean a thing to me, but the results came back and said little girl blue has a problem.  Really?  And Mom pays them people-money for that.  Oh right, but it's a problem called Vasculopathy and some other stuff.  Mom says it means her blood vessels don't get enough circulation and it leads to cell death, scar tissue build up, and more cell death.  Big fancy lingo that means her ears and the tip of her tail are dying (I knew she smelled funny!)

So little miss rot ears is going on medicine for 30 days, then she'll get another ear chunk ripped out after 90 days to see if the rot is less rotten.  Honestly, I could be a vet.  So Dumb Dumb Skye at least has one "issue" labeled, maybe we'll figure out what's wrong with her brain next! (kidding, Mom, just kidding!)

He's like a giant guppy fish.

This guy is a whole different story.  I've forgiven him for ripping up my toys, cause he didn't know they're supposed to survive being played with.  He's learning, poor slow idiotic meathead Sinatra.  It helps that next week he's going to the vet, taking a loooong nap, and waking up 2 balls lighter!  I'm excited, and so are Mom and Skye.  Sinatra isn't picking up on my subtle hints and maniacal laughter, but he'll learn soon enough that the joke's on him.

In the meantime, I'll continue to suffer in the presence of two extremely annoying pit bulls.  The worst part?  They're like twins, separated at birth and finally reunited.  They don't seem to realize it, but they're always doing the same thing!

Ugh.  It's like Skye cloned herself as her own personal body guard.  Who needs more of that?  If only they could be more like me.  Intelligent, brooding, the Lone Ranger type.  Chicks dig it.  They like a dog that can dig a hole, roll in it, and still look Calm Cool and Collected afterward. 

You know you like it.