Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Sharing Is Caring- Unless You're a Dog

Parker here.  My Mom thought I'd be the right blogger for this particular job.  Of course, since you've been deprived of me for so long, I'm dragging this out extending this into two posts.  Yay!

Picture it (I'm sure you can)- You are a dog.  You have your house, your people, your bed, your toys, your bones.  When you want something, there it is.  Whoever comes to your house wants to cuddle you.  If your humans want to play, they play with you.  You're on top of the world!




Then, something changes.  Suddenly, there is another you.  They chew your toys, sleep on your couch, and get treats from the humans.  Your humans.  Only they aren't just yours anymore, you have to share them.  You have to share everything, and it's just not fair!






 I don't like to share.  My mom calls it 'jealousy.'  I call it logic.  I used to have 100% of everything I wanted.  Now I have 50% at best.  Sometimes, I have even less.




Now, some less intelligent dogs don't mind this.  Some love it.  But those of us with half a brain realize that this subtle takeover must be stopped.  Of course, we can't do anything too drastic- we have to ensure that the humans still adore us in the end. 

My general game plan is as follows:

Hoard the best toys and bones in my man cave.

Ensure that any attention to the invader is blocked and redirected to me.

Make it abundantly clear that the invader is in hostile territory.  Again, subtlety is key.  Practice your stink eye in the mirror, and perfect the "drive-by"- a slow walk, freeze (insert stink eye) and move on before the humans notice.

Hopefully your invader is clever enough to put the pieces together.  Unfortunately, we can't all be that lucky.



Of course, if your humans notice that you are resisting the new addition, the gig is up.  They'll use their training magic to convince you that you do, in fact, enjoy the presence of the other dog and then you're doomed.  Tomorrow I'll share with you how my Mom convinced me that sharing is caring.  I don't always buy it, but she keeps working with me and sometimes I forget that these other dogs are invaders at all.  Weird, huh?


9 comments:

  1. Ah but dogs do share: fleas, giardia and many other fun things ;)

    Stop on by for a visit
    Kari
    http://dogisgodinreverse.com

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  2. we share only when we feel like it, otherwise Lily nips my ears.
    Benny & Lily

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  3. Ahh poor Parker, having to put up with Skye haha. Can't wait for more of him to bestow more knowledge upon us tomorrow.

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  5. I love the first picture! So happy and free! Izzy is getting better at sharing...unless its a tennis ball.

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  6. Parker, I think you are a doing a great job of sharing, even if you don't like to. Thanks for sharing your side of the story - I think Turk is squarely on your side of the "no sharing" camp. :)

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  7. Parker, it is like you are reading my mind! Love the pictures!!

    XOXOXO
    Pauley James

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  8. Wow Parker, you and my Felix could be twins. Your description fits him to a T right down to the "hoard" of toys hidden in his "man cave" (aka under the dining room table). The Mama had never thought of this as a jealous behavior before,more of just a vierd thing that Fe did. We definitely need to work on this. Thank you!!

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